I just drove my uncle and myself to the hardware store, and he said to me “Molly, I want you to know that being Catholic doesn’t change anything. If you someday get married, your wife will be welcome in this family. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
That is really nice, but I am not gay???
I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. SPOILER ALERT 2012 ME; YOU’RE SUPER FRICKING GAY.
(via confirmance)
if you’re ever feeling down just remember that Arthur Weasley would NOT BE ABLE TO CONTAIN HIMSELF IF HE MET YOU. literally, your phone: how does it work? what does it do? why do you have to tap it? why are you tapping so fast? wHY DOES MY FACE HAVE DOG EARS ON IT?? WHY AREN’T THEY THERE IN REAL LIFE? ONLY ON THE SCREEN? WHAT IS HAPPENING?? MOLLY I NEED ONE OF THESE DEVICES
(via ethanakamura)
we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck
I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in.
When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer:
Woman: But there are no people in here.
Manager: Madam. The staff count as people.
Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*“The staff count as people” has me dead
(via confirmance)